How’s it Hanging?

I’m always looking for great new shows to watch, and HBO rarely fails to disappoint.  I saw a preview for a new show called Hung starring Thomas Jane (The Punisher, The Mist) as a high school gym coach, and former all around popular jock, down on his luck.  In hopes of actually making something of himself — after a failed attempt at making it in the Major Leagues — Jane decides to attend a get-rich-quick seminar.  He runs into a lonely, awkward and artsy former hookup named Tanya (played by Jane Adams).  She lures him back into her apartment with the same tricks she did the last time (tea?), and they proceed to have a wild romp in the sack.  Jane gets up to leave and doesn’t give Tanya the affection and attention she’s looking for, which causes her to launch into a tirade about his lack of respect for women, capping it off by her yelling after him that if he wants to make a million bucks, he should “market his dick” (which happens to be quite large).

And here we have the thrust of the show.  Jane’s character Ray Drecker heads home and devises a plan to become a male escort.  It’s an intriguing premise — even though it is essentially Weeds with a penis instead of drugs — and I really wanted to see where the show was going to go.  Unfortunately, it seems that the only place the show is going to go is off my season pass list.

• First of all, whoever cast most of the main characters in this show seems to hate beautiful people, because aside from Anne Heche and Thomas Jane, there isn’t an attractive person in sight.  Someone has to explain to me how two attractive people like Jane and Heche could produce two of the most unattractive people I’ve ever seen on television before.  Not only are they unpleasant to look at, but they’re two of the most vapid, uninteresting characters I’ve had the misfortune of meeting in a while.  It doesn’t help things that Jane Adams is an eye sore as well, even though that’s the least of her problems.
• Speaking of Jane Adams, I could easily look past her unattractiveness if she was a likable character, but she isn’t.  In fact, I can not stand her, and literally cringe when she is on screen.  I understand that she’s lonely, and awkward, but she’s also annoying, and foolish, and I don’t want to see good things happen to her.  I want to see her get hit by a garbage truck, and have Ray go off and have sex with all sorts of beautiful women without having to answer to his obnoxious, bumbling task master.
• I’m not a huge fan of Anne Heche, but I saw her recently on Jimmy Kimmel, and although she exuded awkwardness, she looked super hot, and so I’m willing to give her a chance.  The problem is, she has the most boring, asinine story line in the entire show.  She’s married to an awkward dermatologist who lost a bunch of money in the market, her kids hate her, her mother is a mix of evil mother in law and gestapo concentration camp guard and she just kind of floats there as if she’s lodged between boredom and hopelessness with no clear direction in which she is heading.  I can’t imagine what is going to happen to her character, but I can only think of two things;  Jane Adams gets hit by the garbage truck, and Anne Heche becomes the new pimp or Jane Adams is talking to Heche when they both get struck and killed by the aforementioned garbage truck, leaving the show to focus entirely on Jane’s new love interest, Jemma (played by Natalie Zea).  Speaking of which…
• I’ve been pretty negative to this point, and I am probably going to continue on that vein, so let me sprinkle on something I like about the show.  Jemma is fantastic.  Not only is Zea drop dead gorgeous (bring back Dirty Sexy Money PLEASE), but her character is interesting, sassy and human.  The episode where they meet, and have encounter after encounter trying to get things right, was one of the best half hours of television I’ve seen all summer.  It was totally unpredictable, fresh and interesting.  I never imagined that the show would explore this aspect of a woman trying to work through the baggage from a previous relationship, with Ray.  It’s an utterly fascinating concept, and something that might actually make for a compelling television show.  Imagine an entire show dedicated to a man who supplants the role of a previous lover, and facilitates a renewal process by allowing the women to deal with their hurt, find appropriate closure, and move on.  Hmmm…
• As much as I love Jemma and Ray’s encounter, I don’t love how the show is heading with it.  This early in the show, to have Ray fall for one of his clients and vice-versa, opens up a whole can of worms.  First of all, it’s just too soon in the plot to do this sort of thing.  You know it isn’t going to work out, so why even breech the subject?  Second of all, now I’m going to wonder if this is going to happen with all of his clients in the future.  Does this mean any time he meets an attractive woman he has some connection with, he’s going to invite her into his life and have a relationship with her?  Just doesn’t compute for me.

I’m going to give the show a few more episodes to play out, but I don’t hold out much hope.  Other people may enjoy it, and that’s fine, but it just isn’t doing it for me.  Having one semi-compelling plot line buffered between multiple other uninteresting ones doesn’t make a great show for me.  Which leads me to one last thought that I had the other day.

I posited something to myself after the most recent episode ended, and I wish more people read this blog at this point so I could test my theory out.  As taboo as it is to admit it, I think I started, and continue to watch this show because I want to see naked women.  I’m not ashamed to admit it, but it definitely was and is a driving force behind my tuning in.  Obviously, a show about a gigolo is going to translate into quite a few sexual encounters with attractive actresses, famous or otherwise.  I just wonder if that is a driving force behind other people tuning in as well, and perhaps even causing them to claim to enjoy the show.

Let me just clarify, I’m not saying people can not like this show, I just feel like the show is, for the most part, uninteresting, it doesn’t have much humor, it doesn’t have any real deep moving messages, it doesn’t provide any sort of color commentary on society, it doesn’t give a differing perspective on things, it doesn’t have any suspense,  intensity, or drama, except for wondering when the next nude scene is going to show up.  With all of those things I’ve mentioned, I’m struggling to understand why someone would say they like the show, other than the fact that there isn’t much else on, or they want to see more boobies?

I think I might start spending my Sunday nights developing my new series based around the guy who helps women get over their hurtful relationships, and let Hung run its course.